A Place FULL of Rants, Raves and general Nonsense...
_______________________________________
Honesty = Dislike
Often online, people will post something and say “Leave a comment and tell me what you think?”
They ask, and encourage, you to leave comments BUT if you leave a comment that disagrees with them, that they don’t agree with or that may put them in a slightly bad light, they remove or delete it or even go that step further and unfriend you... even block you!
Why do people ask others to leave a comment if they don’t really want an honest opinion.
Maybe next time post something more accurate like “Leave a comment if you agree with me or if it will make me look good”
Or perhaps, don’t ask people to leave a comment at all!
Choices, Decisions and Actions
You often see people online re-posting quotes and sayings
etc most of the time its ones they relate to or feel strongly about… I myself
am one of these people!... But I came across a particular quote the other day that
kinda stuck with me and I thought, ‘well that’s not quite right’. The quote
went something like this….
“Don’t justify your choices to others,
you don’t have to
defend or explain your decisions to anyone,
its your life, live it without assistance.”
Sure, if you are young and single and have no worries about
consequences then yeah, maybe this is reasonable; HOWEVER if you have a partner,
are married or have a family... or have ANYONE in your life close to you, you DO have
to justify and explain your choices, decisions and actions.
Every action has a re-action, or consequence, and if you have
people in your life that mean something to you then every action you take or
decision you make may effect them.
For example, my husband is a musician.
He is starting up a new band and wants to purchase a new
drum kit. If he abides by the law of the “QUOTE” he would go into our savings,
take out the money and buy himself a new drum kit.
Being OUR savings this would have effects on me and our
future.
Sure he COULD do this, but he WOULDN’T do this as the outcome effects
us both not just him.
Which brings me to this, much more becoming quote
“Make your choices, decisions and actions based on values
rather than personal gain.”
When Life gives you Lemons...
No body has it easy, everybody is 'riding the roller-coaster
that is life' but there are some people who seem to think they are the only
ones on the ride, that they are singularly bearing the weight of the world on
their shoulders... and they love to share this with everyone.
However, in reality, everybody faces obstacles in life.
EVERYBODY.
And its how we deal with these incidents that can defines
us.
"Weak people talk and do not act, strong people act and
keep quiet." - Eliphas Levi.
My brother dislocated his shoulder 3 times in the space of 2
years.
After the third time he opted to have surgery which would
take up to 8months to completely heal.
At this time he was about to start his Chef Training so you
could imagine how all this mighty work against him.
He could have easily given up, gone on ACC for 6-8 months
while his shoulder healed and spent his time lounging about and playing x-box.
BUT my brother is strong and determined. He had 4 weeks off
work and carried on into his Chef Training.
He pushed through; he choose not to let this 'obstacle'
stand in his way and now he has a position as Head Chef.
My Partner had Back Surgery about a year before we met.
Although this surgery mended his back, he still gets
re-occurring back pain every now and then.
We have been together twelve years and he has NEVER let this
hold him back, he never complains or plays the victim by using his back pain to
get out of work or responsibility's etc
He just gets on with it and always says 'it could be worse'
- knowing first hand it could be!
I admire him tremendously for his positive attitude,
independence and strength.
My mum will be 60 this year!
About seventeen or so years ago she had an accident and
broke several bones in her foot to the point she had to have a metal plate,
nuts and screws inserted into her foot so she could use it again.
She has had pain in her foot ever since but has never
let this stop her living her life.
She could clam disability and spend her days napping and
watching 'Soap Opera' on t.v ..... but she would see this as a waste of
life!
In May of this year she had to have surgery to re-move a
bone in her foot that had regrown wrong and was causing her major pain.
Her foot will take a minimum of 6 months to heal. After 6 weeks she was back at
work. She will be on painkillers for ALONG time, and I'm not talking everyday
pain relief like paracetamol or Nurofen, but she doesn't say a word, she is
just happy she can still use her foot!
She is a full time Chef, on her foot 8 hours a day and is 59
years old... to me, she is nothing less then inspiring!
Strong people don’t complain, they are to busy conquering
their obstacles.
Weak people have all the time in the world to complain they
have already thrown in the towel.
Everything comes down to your mindset, and it is up to you
to decide whether you want to change it or not.
The Little Things
I'm not really one who needs constant reassurance from my
Partner.
I get it every day in little ways, weather it be an
affectionate wink or cheeky slap on the butt!
Sometimes after a long day at work i will come home and
there will be a little treat waiting for me from my Partner, maybe my favorite
drink or a kinder surprise!
And, of course, it goes both ways, for example...
If we both start work at 9am i usually leave about 20mins
before him so i make him coffee and toast and leave it by the bed for him.
We both work full time but sometimes i finish work an hour
or so before him so i like to take the time to cook him a meal so when he
arrives home from work dinner is ready and we can both sit and relax.
In weekends when I'm off and my Partner is working sometimes
i will drop lunch into him.
I find the little signs of affection and small efforts make
a big difference and the little things my Partner does ALWAYS makes me smile.
A Fine Line
Lately I’ve been hearing a lot of ‘reasons’ from people why
they ‘can’t’ do something or get something done etc… after awhile you realize
these are not reasons but excuses. They aren’t really looking to ‘make
something happen’ or find a solution etc but instead of admitting this they
justify to themselves with a ‘satisfactory’ reason for not doing something or
getting something done.
There is a fine line between reasons, obstacles and excuses.
A reason or obstacle is something that blocks one's way or
prevents or hinders progress.
If you REALLY want something, you will find a way around
this.
If you don’t really want something, after time your
“obstacle” becomes your excuse/reason/explanation given to justify not doing
something or for release from an obligation.
Everybody has made an excuse for something at some point or
another, including myself! Although an excuse or reason these days from me is
usually followed by the honest, and lazy, “who am I kidding, I can’t be
bothered!”
Bottom line:
IF IT’S IMPORTANT TO YOU YOU WILL FIND A WAY, IF NOT, YOU
WILL FIND AN EXCUSE.
Listen to Reason
There are some people who you just can't reason with, give
your advice to or share 'constructive criticism' with. They regard all of this
as 'negativity'.
But funny enough, quite often its those who call others
'negative' that are the first to turn around and complain about someone or
something.
I personally find constructive criticism can be a wonderful
thing, especially when it comes to anything creative. It can help you grow and
move forward, edit and think about things in a different light and form new
ideas etc
I'm always up for hearing peoples advice, after all advice
is FREE!
It doesn't mean you HAVE to agree or take it on board,
but you never know what you might learn or the trouble you may save yourself
from listening to someone rather then turning away and learning a lesson the
painful, expensive or hard way.
Respect is Earned
Occasionally, respect is given straight off the gun, for
example, you start a new job respect is generally given to your boss from the
moment you walk through the door... although that doesn't mean that respect is
kept... over time it may diminish (speaking from experience)
For the most part respect is earned.
If i think about the people i respect in my life one person
comes to mind right away.
Recently i got to know my Brother In-law.
I have meet him many times but never spent enough time with
him to really get to know him, his morals, his values etc until a few month
ago.
He works a full time job and is a full time, single father
with two boys under 5 years old and he hasn't had it easy by any means.
He could easily make excuses in life, with rightful
justification, but he never does.
He could complain about being tired or not having enough
time in a day, with rightful justification, but he never does.
He could 'coast through life on someone Else's dime', use
his kids as a reason not to work or his situation as an excuse to live a 'lazy
life', and again - with rightful justification, but he doesn't do that.
Instead of making an excuse, he finds a solution.
Instead of making an excuse, he makes an effort.
He works hard and he makes time for his kids, he does what
he needs to do to give them a awesome life and those boys love him more then
anything in the world... except for maybe trains *wink
This is someone who has more then earned my respect.
What people Say vs What
people Hear
Unfortunately things like text messages, social media sites,
messenger etc are all forms of communication that DO NOT have tones,
expressions, volume and so on.
This often leads to people taking words out of context and
hearing what they want to hear not what is actually being said… or written.
More unfortunately, even when conversations are had face to
face some people still hear what they choose to hear, not what is being said
and its ALWAYS negative things being heard…
Instead of LISTENING to advice they are HEARING instructions
Instead of LISTENING to an opinion they are HEARING
criticism
Instead of LISTENING to caution they are HEARING hostility
If you only hear negativity in what people say you are only
punishing yourself.
Instead of assuming and hearing the worst in someones words,
take a moment to actually listen and think before you respond and you may save
yourself some unnecessary angst.
True Love is Friendship Set on Fire
When I think about my partner i often smile to myself, when
he winks at me I still get butterflies in my tummy and when I'm around him the
world just disappears, I forget about work and day to day little life stresses,
my mind switches off and I am content.
We have been together 11 years and in all honestly I can say
I love him more with each year that we are together.
Neither one of us has stood still in life, we have both evolved
and grown as people but we seem to have done this together in a way that
complements each other.
We support each others hobbies and passions and since I
started working full time it has created financial equality and allowed me to
be-able to relate to his work ups and downs and understand the day to day
‘frustrations’ that can occur in the work place and it also allows us to share
the load of any financial burdens that come our way which means less stress for
the both of us.
Our relationship is honest, we disagree occasionally but we
never fight/argue, we never raise our voices or upset one another, we
communicate well. If something is troubling either of us we talk it out. We not
only have a strong relationship but a sturdy friendship, this along with our
communication I feel are OUR main strengths... HIS main strengths on the other
hand… I will keep to myself for now *wink
“True love is Friendship set on Fire”
Work with time, not against it
People seem to be repeatedly running late for things.
Whether it be for an appointment or a meeting or to catch
the bus or the train, or even extreme cases were people miss their flights! (We
have been watching a lot of ultimate airport Dubai lately...)
This is something that eludes me...
If you have or make an appointment its generally at least a
day (usually more) before you make it; you always know in advance (not last
minute) the date and time you must be there.
An acquaintance of mine is a prime example of this.
He is CONSTANTLY making appointments with people and ALWAYS
leaving AFTER the set meeting time yet doing NOTHING prier to these
appointments (except drinking tea). Then come a minute before the scheduled
meeting he runs around like he has had no time to prepare... Like i said,
people elude me.
Each morning i have work... at the same time (go figure).
I set my alarm for an hour before hand so i have PLENTY of
time to completely wake up, shower, eat and even sit down for a coffee.
It only takes me 10mins (if that) to get to work so i aim to
leave 15mins early allowing myself an extra 5mins so I'm not frantically
rushing around last minute IF I'm running late.
I don't understand how hard that is, especially with
something like work, school or catching the bus, where each and every day runs
on the same 'time table'.
Okay, I do know there are exceptions - For example... If you
drive; Traffic, Road works, Road Closures etc ...Having small children (who
need to use the loo just as the bus arrives (true story) - and I'm not saying i
myself have NEVER been late for anything! BUT, for the most part... people
frequently running late eludes me.
No comments:
Post a Comment